I Can Read Again
My Journey Back to Books
Books had been an integral part of me, until they weren’t. It’s difficult to pinpoint how something that I so treasured, slowly faded from my life.
Somewhere around 5 years ago, I realized that I hadn’t read a single book in the previous year — not one. This realization was particularly striking as I had had a life-long love of reading and, in fact, had a significant number of books in every room of my house.
Also I haven’t had a television to distract me for the past 20 years, so, I wondered, how had this happened?
And, I wanted to start reading again.
Unable to Focus
When I tried to read, I was startled to find, that I actually couldn’t do it. I would start reading a book, then I would want more information about something I had read, so I would open my computer and look up more about the subject.
I tried putting my computer in another room. I tried disabling the internet. Nothing worked.
I couldn’t read anymore.
Repairing an Injury
Also around 5 years ago, I tripped, fell off a deep curb and severely injured my left ankle. There was a significant possibility of ‘one or more’ surgeries due to the type of injury. My doctor told that I could possibly avoid an operation, if I would commit to extensive physical therapy.
Eager to avoid surgery, I started what would eventually become 6 months of physical therapy. Three times a week, I drove 45 minutes each way to ‘the best physical therapist in Southern California’, despite the painful leg cramps that driving produced.
Also, I was given a set of 15(!) strengthening exercises to do 4 times per day. These were also painful. Because I was advised to stay off of my ankle, I told all of my clients that I could not travel and converted existing contracts to remote work. I worked from my couch.
The recovery process was slow and debilitating. I wore a boot for a long period of time, and also used crutches, then a walker and eventually a cane. When the boot came off, I literally had to re-learn how to use my left foot again. The doctor suggested I try to walk at the beach, because the uneven sand would ‘make my foot work harder.’ The first several times I tried to walk on sand, I fell down over and over. I cried, it hurt, but I would not give up.
To get myself walking, I set a timer for 5 minutes and walked as best I could. Then, the next day, I set the timer for 6 minutes. Eventually I got to 15 minutes. I stayed at that point for a week, then moved on to 17 minutes, 19 minutes…
What was the result of this experience? I followed the advice to the letter, avoided surgery and my left ankle is completely healed.
Rebuilding Attention Span
I am somewhat embarrassed to admit, that I realized the reason I couldn’t read is that I had lost my ability to focus. I literally had no attention span. So, I decided to apply the technique I had used to repair my foot to try to repair my mind.
I set a timer for 15 minutes and tried to read. I couldn’t do it.
Realizing that I had more work to do. I set the time for 5 minutes and tried again. I was able to do this, but I really felt humiliated. What had I done to myself?
I continued the timer technique, slowly increasing from 15 to 20 to 30 and eventually to 60 minutes. Although I did get some satisfaction in this ability to focus, I wistfully wondered whether I would ever just pick up a book and get lost in it again.
Why was I still having to schedule reading time on my calendar as though it was some sort of physical therapy for my brain?
Books as Food
I took a couple of week-long road trips last year with a college student. This student has an incredible reading habit. They carry one or more books with them at all times. Whenever life provides downtime, this student reads.
Kind of like people who are never hungry, because they are always snacking, this person showed me that the last step in my journey back to reading. It was to develop this snacking habit with books.
Simply carry a book with you at all times.
This is a really a basic thing, but it is a key habit. This, along with the focused practice on building my attention span, has got my ability to read back now to where it had been for most of my life.
What about you? Do you read?
